Opening Hearts to New Perspectives on Loss S1 E9

What if the way we view grief has been all wrong? Imagine seeing the transition of a loved one not as an end but as a celebration of their soul's journey to a place of peace. Join us on Zoetic Chat as we challenge traditional perceptions of grief. Drawing from personal experiences as a medium, we explore the notion of prolonged sorrow as a societal expectation rather than a necessity. Could it be time to embrace a more joyful and liberated way of processing loss? From confronting generational views on mourning to examining how some might seek sympathy through their losses, this episode opens up a conversation about finding a path forward with love and understanding.

In our discussion, we delve into the complex emotions tied to mourning—how it can represent love, healing, or sometimes avoidance. Through heartfelt anecdotes, we reflect on individuals preparing for their transition and the importance of creating lasting memories. As we offer practical steps for connecting spiritually with departed loved ones, you'll learn about ways to sense their presence around you. With an invitation to explore courses on my website, johnmayfieldcom, you'll find guidance on how to become the best version of yourself by embracing messages of love, peace, kindness, and joy from those who have passed on. Join us as we look forward to life's journey and the healing it brings.

Chapters

• 0:48 Reframing Grief
• 19:10 Navigating Grief and Moving Forward
• 25:35 Embracing Healing and Moving Forward

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:49

Hey, hey, hey, everyone, Welcome to Zoetic Chat. Unleash your Life's Journey, season 1, Episode 9. The other day, you know when I was excuse me the other day, when I was on one of my TikTok live sessions in the morning and you know I do them every day, five days a week, between seven o'clock and 10. We were talking about death, which often happens. Being a medium, there's always some death going on somewhere or someone talking about death or wanting to understand death. So I thought I'd do this podcast with a bit of a what if? Scenario, because you know, so many people stop their lives when someone passes over. Are we meant to stop our lives when someone passes over? When a soul transitions to somewhere else? Are humans supposed to stop their lives? Are they supposed to go into a deep grieving state? Are they? I'm just placing the questions there for you to think about. I know what I feel and I know what I think, but I'm asking you, what if the person who originally invented grieving or the grieving phase, or telling people to grieve when somebody passed over? What if that person got it wrong? What if that person should have actually told people that when your loved one's soul passes out of the earthly body to go to somewhere else. What if you were supposed to be happy? What if you were supposed to be joyful because that soul is going exactly where it needs to be? What if all of our souls are crying out for humans to be happy, to be connecting to the soul, to feel that warmth, the generosity and that feeling of knowing that we are more than just a human? What if they got it wrong? And that was part of what we were talking about. What if it was wrong? So a lot of people on there decided that they were then going to be happy for their loved one, their grandma, their aunt, their daughter, their son. They were going to be happy for the soul, not for the human. They were going to be happy for the soul. I'm going to cough, sorry. They were happy for the soul.

Speaker 1: 4:03

Now, all the time and all the thousands of souls that I've connected to in mediumship, not one of them has ever said bring me back to earth. Not one of them has shown sadness for earth and not one of them has shown that it's the right thing for their relatives to be sad, upset and grieving for a long period of time. Of course, you're going to be a little bit sad, you're going to cry, you're going to be in that state because you've just lost your loved one. That's just normal human emotion. What I'm talking about is about six, seven, eight months, two years, three years, ten years down the line. What if you don't need to still be in that grieving state? What if you don't need to say I'll never get over that. Remember, you are here to have a life to learn and to experience from your soul. Your soul is here with lots of experiences stored in it, waiting for you to walk into them. But what happens when you grieve for all that time? I personally don't believe that any soul came here to be in the body of someone grieving for a long period of time. I believe the soul came here to give you experiences, to be part of your experiences and to carry on to more experiences, not to be stuck.

Speaker 1: 5:46

There's people you know that lump it all together. I was recently connected with someone that said they'd lost so many people and they'd had a hard life. They hadn't had a hard life. They'd had experiences that they needed to learn and they hadn't lost a lot of people. And they hadn't lost a lot of people. They had lost people in their family over time and they lumped together I think it was about 12 years of different people passing into one sentence which made it seem like they'd lost a lot and had a difficult life, lost a lot and had a difficult life, when really they lost one 12 years ago, one eight years ago, one five years ago, you know, and they lump it all together. But I got the feeling that person was looking for someone to feel sorry for them. They were reaching out in a different way. They were reaching out in a different way.

Speaker 1: 6:50

To take each passing as it comes is the only way for us as humans to move forward, and I believe that every soul exits the body at the right time, for whatever reason. So if they go, if the human body has a heart attack, if the human body decides to take itself home, if the human body has the sea, if the human body has organ failure or even an accident, somehow it is the soul's way to go. Nothing, I believe, would change that. So what if it was a happy occasion? How amazing would that be. You'd meet people in the street and you'd be talking and they'd say oh, how's Billy? Oh, billy's soul passed over three years ago. What an amazing thing to happen. Passed over three years ago. How, what an amazing thing to happen. You know to speak a bit more positively about souls passing over. It might help you with your belief in life. I know a lot of religions and cultures have their own belief. I'm really talking about people who have no belief and stay in that grieving process because they know no different, because they follow what their granny or their granddad or the great granny or the great granny, great great granny, told them it was right to do, and going back even more generations.

Speaker 1: 8:32

Some people talk about having grieving counselling. Do people need to be counselled when somebody's passed over? I'm just putting it out there. I don't know. It depends on the counselling. If you came to me for counselling because you've lost someone, I would say it's time to get on with your life, knowing that their soul is happy and as a medium, I would bring through messages and guidance from that soul. That's what grieving counselling, in a loose word, means to me. I don't know what a traditional counselling grieving session would entail. I've never been there.

Speaker 1: 9:22

So have your tears, feel sad and wonder, but know that it is the best thing for the soul to be where it is. It doesn't matter about the age of the person. It really doesn't matter, because someone originally told someone that to lose someone younger than you is a really bad thing and that the adults, the mothers and the fathers, should always outlive the children. Who said that? Who was so cruel to say that? Because now, people that have lost their children say that they shouldn't have done that, they should have gone first, because that's instilled in us over generations. You can still be happy for the beautiful soul of a child to go home, knowing that it had done every single thing that it needed to do. It didn't need to be old, it didn't need to experience anything more, it just needed to do what it needed to do, and when that was finished, it was time for that soul to go home. So celebrate your child's soul going home in whatever way you see fit, but make it a celebration and a happiness. You can still cry and you can still feel sad because you miss the human of that soul, but the soul is living on somehow, somewhere, and that depends on your belief.

Speaker 1: 11:11

My belief is that life is eternal and that we do carry on in some form or another. I don't believe that we'll 100% know exactly what that is. People that have had near-death experiences. They will tell you what they've seen and felt and share their experiences with you. People that are mediums, like myself, will talk from the soul that's passed over and give you that experience. But I can tell you the warmth that I feel, the calmness, the love and the peace from a soul that's passed over, is like nothing on earth. Nothing on earth can equate to that feeling that we're given. It's just so beautiful and it even makes me want to shed some tears. Whilst I'm shedding that, sharing that information with you, it just is amazing.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Are you being selfish? What if you are? What if you're being selfish by trying to hold on to that human that isn't going to stay there anymore? What if you're being selfish because not allowing the soul to fly free is almost trying to keep it restrained? I don't believe that happens. But what if it is?

Speaker 1: 12:49

But I have had souls come through and people will say why is it that I haven't felt my mom? She told me she'd come around me when she passed over. She told me she'd come around me. My dad told me he'd come around. My daughter told me. My grandson told me that they'd come around me when they passed over and let me know that they were safe. But I really didn't want them to pass. I wanted them to be here. I can't let them go.

Speaker 1: 13:18

You hear people talk like that. Those souls hang back because those souls are waiting for you to say that you are happy that their soul passed on their passing day. They tell me that. I ask them why haven't you been around? Why didn't you come and see your mother or your granny? Why haven't you been to see your daughter? And they'll say we're waiting for them to take the first step. They always say the same and I tell people that come on my live sessions that ask me those questions. I say go away for a week and speak somewhere to your loved one, shout to the universe, go out in a field and shout hey, mom, I'm ready for you, I'm so happy your soul passed on its passing day. They go and do that for a week. They come back to me and their loved one is there, ready to connect to them. Then I can bring messages in of guidance, I can bring messages in of confirmation. I can just bring love to those people from their loved ones.

Speaker 1: 14:33

But when you're wanting and trying to drag them back to earth, which is never going to happen. They don't want to know because when they're on the other side they kind of forget or they don't remember. I'm not quite sure how that works. They don't feel so connected to the earth and the earthly things that they think what the hell are they going on about? My soul is flying free. I'm happy, I'm connected, I'm doing what I need to do. Why are you trying to drag me back to earth? They don't like it and they never have. They've always held back.

Speaker 1: 15:10

So if you're someone that really would like a message or guidance or love, to feel a presence of your loved one that's passed over, let them go, connect to their soul, be happy that their soul has passed over. Be happy that they're doing what they need to do, because one day you're going to join them. And would you like it if your relatives were holding on to you and trying not to let you go? Would you like that? I don't think you would, and I know when you get over there you'll be that busy doing what you need to be doing that you won't want to try and come and convince your loved ones that they need to release you. So I'm the one doing that Release, release, release their soul. What if all your emotions are clouding the truth? What if all your emotions are stopping them coming in? Remember the sadness is a human emotion. We very rarely see the emotion in the soul that's passed over. We hear the words but we don't see the emotion. The emotion is earthly.

Speaker 1: 16:44

How long do you think you need to be stuck in a place where you're not connecting and releasing the soul that's gone over? And what do you think the soul's perception is of grief? For me, the souls or the spiritual perception on grief could be to serve as an understanding of the depth of our love for the departed humans. And it might be that the soul wants to encourage us to continue our lives, to continue in the vein that we came to earth to be, to have. Sometimes I believe that our souls, the souls of the people that have passed over, are crying out for us to release so that they can come and have a natter. How can we grieve in a way to enable us to still live our lives with a bearable, blissful memory of our loved ones, to connect to their soul, to believe that they're in a better place, to believe that life goes on. To believe is amazing. Find your belief. What is it? You can still grieve, but not for too long and not too deeply. You have a life to live. Your soul is calling out for you to live your life with the knowledge that your loved one's soul is carrying on their eternal life.

Speaker 1: 19:11

Grieving can be a sign of love. Grieving can be a sign of love. It can be a sign of you starting to heal, or it can be a sign that you're burying your head in the sand and you don't want to face something. It can be that you yourself have a fear of death. It can be that you yourself have a fear of death. So, grieving or not moving on is often a sign of those things.

Speaker 1: 19:42

You, your soul, has a mission to live a life, to have experiences in your human body. What are you stopping it doing? Why is your life stuck? Have you just lost someone in the last year and you can't move forward in any part of your life? And are you holding on to something to do with that person that's passed over? If you are, just try for a week to be happy for the soul of whoever it is that's passed. Be happy for their soul to be where it needs to be. Think of their soul going on holiday. You're happy when people go on holiday. You're happy that they book their flight, they pack their bags and they go away. So be happy for the soul. It might not have packed its bags like we do when we go on holiday, but that soul knew when it was going. And I believe that they get ready, because there's so many stories that you hear, and I believe that they get ready because there's so many stories that you hear, true stories of people who have done the most ridiculous things just before they passed over. They've connected to people, made friends with people, let go of grievances.

Speaker 1: 21:16

My children's dad took them on a picnic that he'd never, ever done the week before he passed. I think I might've told you this before, but he took them on a picnic, he took them out on his own, he made the sandwiches on his own and he took them on a picnic. I don't know if they both remember that, but he did and he'd never, ever done that before, and that was their time together and he'd never, ever done that before and that was their time together. He came and chatted with me. We had the longest conversation that we'd had in years about what I thought I might do in my life. I'd just gone back to college because the children were coming out of infant school and I thought now I need to get back into education. And we had a conversation about what my plans were, a discussion, and I laid it all down that I wanted to become a teacher. So I'd gone back to college to learn, to go on the teacher training, to become a teacher and I did all that. But why did I have that discussion with him the week before he passed? Why did he take my children? I believe that he knew and he was just like making sure everything would be all right for me and the children.

Speaker 1: 22:25

You see, that makes me sad. It makes me happy, sad, but it brings up emotions. So it's okay to have emotions as you go forward after you've lost someone, but not so okay if it's stopping you moving forward. It's okay, everything's okay and it's okay to be happy for the soul's transition. It's such a beautiful thing. Go in the garden and pick a flower and think that that is representing someone's soul. That's passed over. That flower is perfectly formed. It's not really asking for anything, it's just perfectly formed. Go and look at one in the garden. If you don't want to pick one, go and see how things grow, because your loved one's souls are now growing on the other side, whatever you perceive the other side to be. That's for a whole other podcast. In the meantime, this podcast is recorded at the beginning of December in 2024.

Speaker 1: 23:45

So those of you that are listening, I guess you're frantically shopping or thinking of the people that have passed over that won't be sitting at your table this year in the human form. But how do you know when the ball bell, the ball bell, when the the ball ball swings a little bit on the christmas tree, how do you know that that's not your loved one letting you know that they're there? How do you know that if the fairy slips it's not your loved one pushing it? How do you know They'll be there? Some people leave an empty chair around the table. That's quite difficult if you count everyone that's passed over, but for the last loved one, they often leave an empty chair at a celebratory table. That would be all right for you to do. Think about it. Remember you have your life to live. Call them in to help you in your life.

Speaker 1: 24:55

I'm very lucky, you know, I'm very lucky that I sense the spirit energies of my loved ones around me. But you can sense that as well. You can, I want to say, train yourself, but that's kind of the wrong word to use but you can learn how to do that. You can learn, come on my course Mediumship and More. That helps you. That gives you all the knowledge, all the foundations that you need to be able to sit in an energy and feel your loved ones around you. You will sense that on the actual course.

Speaker 1: 25:36

Look out for that, starting in I think that's in February. Take a look on my website, johnmayfieldcom, and you will see the courses that I've got. Everything, every course that I have for you is to help you to be the best version of yourself, to connect to your loved ones and know that you're being guided every single day. And then you're not meant to suffer, as some people call it. You're meant to experience and move on. Remember next time something comes onto your path and experience, experience it and move forward. I'm giving you love, peace, kindness and joy from all of your loved ones that have passed over. Have the most shemazing day and I'll catch you in the next episode, episode 10.